Are Young Adults more Egoistic?
A few days before my birthday, I always tend to contemplate my past year. I ask myself the questions “What did I achieve?”, “Am I proud of myself?”, “How did I grow as a person?”, “What do I want to improve?”. The last question really stuck and made me binge-watch Ted Talks to find my purpose for the upcoming year. These talks really made me, a 23-year-old millennial, question me and my generation.
Most people of my generation grew up with the internet. Having access to a lot of information and staying connected 24-hours a day to your parents and friends is in its own way impressive. But what is the other side of being connected at all times? Now, I am by no means an expert in psychology or whatever. I am just a millennial sharing my thoughts and experiences.
What is ego really?
A definition of ego that was really relatable for me can be found in the book ‘Ego is the Enemy’ by Ryan Holiday.
“It’s that petulant child inside every person, the one that chooses to get his or her way over anything or anyone else. The need to be better than, more than, recognized for, far past any reasonable utility — that’s ego. It’s the sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounds of confidence and talent.” — Ryan Holiday
With the internet being a large part of our daily lives, it is inevitable to want to scroll through your timeline and see what others are doing and sharing what you are doing. Being a social creature is in our very human nature, and it has been made easy for us.
The process of becoming that petulant child starts with a lack of vulnerability in our daily lives. When scrolling on social media, I have noticed a pattern of people sharing their achievements, their goals, and their nicest pictures. Because in all honesty, no one wants to be vulnerable for the whole world to see. Why would I want to share an ugly picture of me? Why would I share that I didn’t reach some of my personal goals this year? Somehow, in our minds, we have decided that those things are not worth sharing.
How does that affect us?
With us millennials only sharing what we want to share, surrounds us with a lot of perfection that we aim to have in our own lives. The problem with that is that we hardly see the process. We do not see in our daily lives how to achieve a certain success that we all want. We only see the finished product.
This leads us to want to compare ourselves to others and becoming competitive. We start to lose sight of the bigger picture. A lot of insecurity is involved here. We want recognition through our likes and comments when we post something. We want to do better than that person in our timeline. We feed ourselves daily with things that are just unrealistic.
How to find humility?
As I have already mentioned, I am by no means an expert. I am also still struggling with dealing with my own ego and understanding and recognizing my own emotions. With that said, I feel that the genuine feeling of wanting to become a better person every day has really helped me. This feeling has led me to look up people and read into the stories of their process.
Watching someone else’s process makes me realize that being vulnerable is okay and it takes certain insecurities away from me and makes a place for genuine confidence. When the insecurities are becoming less, the voice of my ego is also softening. It gives space within me for more compassion and understanding of others. And overall, I feel way better when I handled a situation with little to no ego involved.
So, are Young Adults more Egoistic?
In my opinion, yes. But we all have that little petulant child in us. It is only a matter of recognizing that child and dealing with it properly. It takes time and energy to do that, like with everything else in our lives.
