“Pretty people privilege” and how it works
I stumbled upon Pierre XO’s video, where he shared his thoughts on this so-called “pretty people privilege”. I could relate a lot to his experience. I was also an Asian before it was cool. On top of that, I also grew up as an Asian in a white country where beauty standards were different than what I was used to. But, what makes me want to share my point of view, is that I believe that it is different for males than females.
Growing up, I had loads of friends when I was still in Thailand. I never felt lonely or felt different from anyone else. When I immigrated to The Netherlands, I felt culturally different. However, I was still too young to realize that I was also different physically. This ignorance stopped when I grew older and started to get harassed and bullied because of my appearance.
I remember being a quiet girl, but when the harassment and bullying started, I became even quieter. I also had a longtime crush at the time. This dude never noticed me. It became even worse. At one point, all the bullies found out who I had a crush on. And my crush was absolutely ashamed to be anywhere near me from that point. It really hurt my feelings, because I was literally never mean to anyone. I also lost my best friend because I was not cool enough. I had to find another group of friends at school. Only one stuck with me, and I had one friend outside of school. My life back then felt pretty horrible at one point. I became super insecure because people felt the need to treat me in a certain type of way because of how I look.
Of course, you can categorize this as racism. Because it is. But I am focussing on appearance in this post. As I grew older, I tried to look a certain type of way. I was by no means pretty, but I did make an effort to look better. This resulted in me having a bit more friends in high school. Why do I believe that this isn’t because of my personality? Because before I used make-up, no one would talk to me. I feel that generally, physical appearance attracts, and personality makes people stay.
When did I start to notice?
This bit might sound narcissistic or whatever. But I have worked my ass off to get this confidence that I have now. So you all can think about me whatever you want.
I will start with how I noticed that I was actually becoming more attractive. This is a negative thing, but I started to get catcalls and boys were actually texting me back. Whenever I got catcalls, I felt cringy. But at the same time, I was also surprised by the fact that someone actually noticed me in a way that they wanted something from me instead of just trying to curse at me for being Asian.
When I grew older, social media also grew more significant in our daily lives. I am very positive that I definitely became more attractive. But I also have to give credit to social media for changing beauty standards in my favor. Because I do believe that beauty standards keep changing. And right now, beauty standards are being defined by celebrities and influencers that we find attractive.
But yea, I basically fit in the beauty standard that we have now. 🤷🏽♀️
What are the perks?
The realization of being attractive really started when I noticed the perks that came with it. The most notable thing was what men were willing to do for me. I got free drinks, free entrances, them paying for dates, etc. I was single at the time and I actually had options in who I wanted to date. I can tell you guys that I never had options before. When was ugly, I was lucky when someone even wanted to talk to me. Were men also taking advantage of me? Of course! But I believe that I also let it because of my own insecurities and trauma. But that topic is for another time.
Even with jobs, I noticed a big difference. I really felt like that I could do a very shitty job interview and employers would still give me a chance. This opened a lot of opportunities. I am also a model as a hobby. This hobby started because someone actually found me pretty enough to photograph. Furthermore, I became a micro-influencer. If you would’ve told me a few years ago that I would live this life, I would laugh in your face. People actually send me free stuff for me to take pictures with. They specifically want my face with the product on the picture. How freaking crazy is that??
Also, when I do something. People are generally very supportive. I have a body jewelry line and everyone loved it. I never felt this much support ever. I am very grateful for it.
The negative side
I want to keep it real with you. Although the perks are nice. There are definitely some negative things about being perceived as pretty.
People generally think I’m shallow. Whenever I have a conversation with someone for the first time. I always get the comment ‘You really surprised me, I thought you were […]”. Usually, the blank is filled with a negative prejudice about my personality and how they think that they would gain so much out of a conversation with me.
I also get surprised reactions when I tell people that I am studying. I always think that it’s weird. Because I am 23 and people around my age are usually students. I personally never act surprised when people in their early twenties are still studying. I am more surprised when they are not.
Lastly, when I am not talkative or when I reject someone. I will be portraited as an arrogant person. I remember one time I was with a group of friends and someone asked my number. I asked why, and that person proceeded to call me difficult and arrogant.
So, does it exist?
In my opinion, pretty people privilege definitely exists. But it is not all privilege.
Thank you for reading!
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